We take a lot of things for granted on the daily. Life in itself is one of the best example, the mere fact of just waking up in the morning. That is not a given that we ,sadly, realize when it’s too late.
I have learnt a lot of things on this special needs journey, most of them the hard way. The kind of lessons you wish you would be reading about and not experiencing them. I have come to appreciate the basics that I can do for myself. What I used to think was automatic
I have been humbled to my knees on so many instances I stopped counting. I have been broken to bits when I thought I was at my strongest peak. I have experienced heart wrenching moments when all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and cry my heart out, but being the adult meant I had to be the tough one.
Even when at my weakest I remember how blessed I am, coz it could have been worse. I have seen worse. As hard as it is to focus on that beam of light flickering on the horizon, I fight to keep my eyes fixated on it. I have to. I must.
Sometimes I fold, I crumble, but I am only human. During those days i take a bow, marinate on the internal pain that only a mother can feel for their child (special or not) and wait for tomorrow. Sleep does wonder for the hurting heart, somehow it does. I have learnt that no matter how hard it is today, tomorrow will be better. The situation may not change, but one will have renewed strength to fight the storm.
One of my favorite quotes is by Mary Anne Radmacher; “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”
On days like this when I know I’m losing whatever it is that keeps me going, when I have no more strength to take the next step, I stop. I set up camp right by the road and call it a night. I wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow shall be better. It must.
So if you are on this journey and you feel like all is crashing down, like everything you grasping is spiraling out of hand, take heart. The storm may weather today but with dawn cometh calm and peace. It shall pass. Whatever storm you facing now shall come to pass, one way or another.
Don’t be scared to set up camp, to take a break and internally regroup. To put everything in perspective and plan for the road ahead. That is not failure, neither is it giving up. That is you being courageous, that is you taking a sip of water before you go back to the boxing ring, that is you being human.
(Written by @cmutena)