That moment when you receive your child’s diagnosis for the first time .. When the doctors (usually) tell you that there is something wrong with your baby and that it cannot be cured. That sinking movement your heart does as it sinks to the pit of your stomach, as you look at your child and you start questioning the higher powers.
That lost feeling that engulfes the whole of you as your mind races on what is happening, what are you meant to do, why your child and not somebody else’s. The hot tears that stream down your face and you don’t bother to wipe them away as your heart is already broken anyway.
Somehow you survive it all. You accept (and love) your child and vow to do all you can for them. That is your baby .. A part of you that you can never undo. A piece of you literally.
With time you get to meet other parents of special needs children .. Whether or not the conditions are the same, the journey is the same. The hurt, the mourning of a ‘perfect’ life, the roller coaster of emotions and medical visits, the life of raising a child with special needs.
The feeling of belonging soon overwhelmes the feeling of loneliness and despair. The comforting thought of someone is there to help you walk the journey when you can’t find it within yourself to even look up. The smile that crosses your face (and heart) at the end of a long grueling day when you realize that it may seem, but you are not alone.